a field report

Gamma gammalyte9000 at yahoo.com
Thu Jan 23 14:14:27 EST 2003


>From a friend of a friend.

Took 400mgs Ibogaine hcl at 9:45am and laid down
 
After 40 minutes or so I started having slight visuals and mild physical
trembling.
 
Somewhere around the 1 hour mark I felt the ibo surge through my body like an
expanding energetic doughnut, racing through every cell in my body. Then the
rocking and spinning began. Trying to control that was useless so I gave in to
it, reluctantly. I was surprised at the strength of the onset.

I started traveling through space, with stars blurring past me at tremendous
speed. I realized I was in a spiraling cosmic tube, traveling galactic
distances, deep into the purple. It occurred to me I was traveling through the
tube that connects me to the god source, and I could see through the tube's
transparent walls that there were other tubes, and there were other beings
making the same journey. On and on I sped while my physical body back on earth
was pinned to the bed with incredible gravity.

And then I saw it.

The god head.

The most brilliant sphere of pure energy and light, and emanating from it were
the spiral tubes that connect to all living beings. The tube I was in. The
piece of God that I represent as a child of the light.

That vision faded but I could still sense my rapid pace, and the horrific
visions started. Great rings of fire and battlefields and nuclear war raged on
and on. I was experiencing the collective conscience of humanities struggle
with money, greed and war. Planets ravaged by smoke and flame and strange
winged beasts that breath sulfurous fumes and the fear, the deepest darkest
fear pierced me to my core. Not a Good Sign.

I watched as the same story repeated itself over and over, with the people in
power spreading fear and chaos to keep us in control, cowering in the corner
feeding on drugs and materialism. I knew from the deepest seat of my soul that
I was not of that cast, the reptilian war mongers. I’ve played the victim role,
feeding on the hype and sensationalism that pollutes the airwaves of the great
media mogul.

Exhaustingly I watched as battles waged and the earth glowed with radioactivity
and toxic waste. The great Dark Religion of wealth and greed consumed every
green inch of the earth and I cowered in its darkness.

My deepest feelings from child hood came forward; the feeling of never being
safe from my father’s rage and my mothers complacency and the constant threat
through the 70’s and 80’s of eminent nuclear war all came bubbling to the
surface.

I began to retch somewhere around the 3 hour mark, it was very painful and I
had the dry heaves. I decided I don’t like Ibogaine very much, I felt horrible.
My first two experiences were so different, I felt as though the ibo spirit
really wanted to rub my face in the shit this time, to see clearly what is
happening with humanity, how it all is coming to a head, how the petro-chemical
companies run the government and the economy, and how the U.S.'s have turned
into the worst of the worlds greed and war mongers.

This waged on for many hours, finally after 11-12 hours it began to pass, but
came back in small pulses, more war and destruction. I managed to eat about 3
grapes. Any task I attempted took long minutes of pondering, to lift a finger
summoned all the will power I could manage. After showering and changing
clothes I felt slightly refreshed, but completely weak from the experience. I
knew it was over, thank god it was short lived but man was it intense for such
a small dose. A friend pointed out the cleansing I had done earlier in the week
probably made me extra sensitive to the medicine. Later somewhere around 11pm I
took a sleeping aid and dosed off for a few hours. All in all I managed to get
about 6 hours sleep.

This morning I feel pretty vulnerable and emotional, but good. I discussed my
experience with someone who has been there and back and we talked about the
balance between the dark side and the light side, and how important it is to
stay in the light and to have humor and above all to love and be loved.

I‘m not feeling any real withdrawal from the pills, I was taking anywhere
between 20-40mgs of oxycodone and 1,000mgs of Soma for the past month or so. I
don’t have a desire to take the pills other than for the continuing pain in my
neck and head that prompted me to get a prescription in the first place. I am
going to try something called wobenzyme for the pain.

Ibogaine is an excellent laxative.

I would be happy not to take Ibogaine for another five years. (I last took it
in Feb 1998 for opiod addiction)

Its strange being in a foriegn country, so far from home, but I travel home
soon.

~z

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