BIG brother is watching you

IBOGA Foundation iboga at
Fri Dec 12 04:51:58 EST 2003

Operator : - Thank you for calling Pizza House . May I have your...

Customer: - Haloo, can I order...

Operator : - Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?

Customer: - It's eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610

Operator : - OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile
is 014 266 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer: - Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : - We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: - May I order your Seafood Pizza...

Operator : - That's not a good idea, Sir.

Customer: - How come?

Operator : - According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir.

Customer: - What?... What do you recommend then?

Operator : - Try our Low Fat Hokier Meat Pizza. You'll like it.

Customer: - How do you know for sure?

Operator : - You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokier Dishes' from the
National Library last week, Sir.

Customer: - Ok, I give up... Give me three family sized ones then. How
much will that cost?

Operator : - That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.99.

Customer: - Can I pay by credit card?

Operator : - I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit, and you're owing your bank $3,720.55 since October last
year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,

Customer: - I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator : - You can't, Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today.

Customer: - Never mind! Just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it going to take anyway?

Operator : -About 45 minutes, Sir, but if you can't wait, you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle...

Customer: -  What!

Operator : -According to the details in the system, you own a
Scooter,...registration number E1123...

Customer: -  *'!^ *%^**%^I#*

Operator : - Better watch your language, Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987?
You were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator : - Is there anything else Sir?

Customer: - Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me the 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator : - We normally would Sir, but based on our records, you're also
a diabetic...

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