[ibogaine] what changed?

Carla Barnes carlambarnes at yahoo.com
Tue Jul 2 08:30:52 EDT 2002

Patrick yeahhhhhhhhhhh, you should do that and make it
all findable. HT is a ok magazine but it always makes
my screen blow up and its impossible to find anything,
especially when youre searching through 2 years of

All of this makes me wonder sometimes. I know most of
us believe in some kind of god, maybe all of us. But
did you ever wonder about why things happen the way
they do? So many people I knew are all dead or in
prison so few lived. And what's funny not funny hahaha
funny, is some of the most messed up total disasters
who you'd bet would be dead made it. And so many of
the more sane people are all MIA or dead.

Does anyone think that everyone's life really does
have some kind of blueprint that's finished before you
even start it and then these are the things that are
supposed to happen? I don't know but it's something
I'm thinking about a lot because I don't have any
other way to explain it to myself that makes any
sense. Why do some people who done the most insane
things survive and not just survive but somehow pull
out of it and others who you'd bet had every chance to
make are gone.

This isn't one case or two but it's happened so many
times that it's hard to believe it's only luck. If it
is luck then god favors the crazy.

Carla B

--- Kerry Dawson <kdawsonais at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Patrick, thank you for that answer and I do
> apologize, you are right and it isn't my place to do
> that. I was motivated by interest not the desire to
> put you on the spot. Please understand that I don't
> disagree with your observations. I don't know
> everything or even very much. The problem is almost
> nobody else does either. I have worked for almost 20
> years with addicts my motivation is to help. I
> signed on this list because I read your writings in
> Heroin Times which by the way, and not to tell you
> what you should do, but only a opinion, you should
> collect together and put online somewhere in one
> place. You have almost 20 thousand words about
> addiction and ibogaine and however you opinions or
> moods change your core concepts have remained the
> same. 
> What I find fascinating is that between you and some
> of the people who post here on a regular basis,
> Preston the Gamma handle (Dave or Chris?) and what
> I've read from some of you, what you all have in
> common is that none of you have followed any
> traditional treatment, all of you are people who
> really should be dead, not having conversations
> here.
> Which is what's so interesting. I can't tell you
> Patrick that it's unfortunate you came into contact
> with less then decent addiction professionals
> because if you were wherever it was that you went
> however briefly and it was through Dr. Mash, then
> they are probably at the top of their field. The
> problem isn't that you didn't have access to decent
> treatment or the funds to get help making it a
> social problem, the problem is that we simply don't
> know that much. 
> All of you have my respect, please keep writing,
> speaking, Mindvox, all the things you do, because as
> so many have mentioned if there is a single thing
> most of you have in common other then the fact you
> should be dead, it's you have all pulled it back
> together and are leading your lives in your own
> ways, none of you seem to be in "recovery" all of
> you have stepped back from the edge of the cliff. 
> Love, strength, best wishes to all of you. I will
> keep reading and try to save the inappropriate
> comments for personal email, I really do apologize. 
> Kerry Dawson, AIS, CAP, MAC
>   "Patrick K. Kroupa" <digital at mindvox.com> wrote:

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